Published: May 11, 2008
The
celebration of Mother’s Day allows a chance to reflect on the challenges facing
many women today juggling work, raising children and maintaining a household.
Many families will celebrate the day with flowers, dinners and other tokens of
appreciation. It should be a day filled with love and admiration for mothers
everywhere, who all too often must overcome men’s folly.
But for many, Mother’s Day may
not be all flowers and dinners. Our burgeoning population of single moms, plus
divorced and abandoned ones, may leave the celebration to offspring. The
working or welfare mom may rely on appreciative children or friends to celebrate.
Such merriment may be a simple hug, a thank you, or children preparing dinner
and cleaning up.
Mother’s Day may offer the
opportunity to reflect on two issues facing women in our community: domestic
violence and sexual assault.
One out of three women will be
victims of domestic violence in their lifetime. This somber statistic continues
to plague American communities. In 2006, there were 272,350 victims of rape,
attempted rape or sexual assault nationally. Sixty-seven percent of victims
were under the age of 18. Thirty-four percent of all victims were under 12.
Victims under 12 are counted separately and not included in the 272,350
victims.
Rapes Up In
The state of
As of June 2007, there were
156.6 registered sex offenders and predators per 100,000 people in
Sexual assault and domestic
violence are overwhelmingly crimes against women. What better holiday than
Mother’s Day to reflect on the many ways to improve safety and respect for all
women.
More recently, efforts to curb
violence have extended beyond issues of safety for victims. Attention to men by
exposing and addressing sexist behavior is critical to thwarting violence against
women. Rehabilitation and alternatives to abuse are key
to reuniting families in a safe and loving environment. However, a woman’s
well-being must always be the first priority.
Where Men Fit In
What can men do?
·
Be
aware of language. Making demeaning comments like “whore” and using other
inappropriate names sends a message that women are less than human or have no
rights. Good communication, particularly about sex among partners, defuses
misunderstandings and reduces the risk of rape.
·
Speak
up when you hear comments or see actions that denigrate women. Demand that
educators include women’s safety issues at school, police are trained and
sensitive to abuse and adequate community services are available to victims of
violence.
·
Support
survivors of rape. Be sensitive to their anguish and violation. It may be a
loved one who feels guilty, tainted or worthless. The victim is blameless and
must have ongoing support.
·
Contribute
time and money. Know who provides services to victims in your community and
support them; volunteer your time and support fundraisers. Their efforts save
lives and sometimes help bring families together.
·
Talk
with women. Ask about their fears, how they want to be supported if they are a
victim. Do they feel in danger? Become sensitive to the issue and become an
advocate against abuse in any form, to anyone.
·
Talk
with men. Understand your own values; compare them to others’. Learn how sexual
violence touches the lives of men and what is necessary to stop it. Ten percent
to 20 percent of all males will be sexually abused in their lifetime.
·
Organize.
Anti-rape groups are becoming more common around the country, especially on
college campuses. These groups can have tremendous community impact.
·
Work
to end other oppressions. Rape relates to many forms of sociopathic
behavior that include racism, homophobia and religious discrimination. By
exposing and correcting conduct that undermines environmental justice, equity,
or fosters violence and hate, we improve our communities and the quality of
life for residents.
·
Don’t
ever have sex with anyone against their will. No means no!
Mother’s Day is an excellent
time to reflect on women. I lost my mother a few years back. I regret that it
took her death for me to fully appreciate her value.
Perhaps this Mother’s Day I will
reflect on my spouse. I have been less than sensitive to her sacrifices on my
behalf and must better appreciate the fantastic mother she has been to our
children.
Mother’s Day must be more than
flowers and dinner; it must also be a day of reflection and rebirth. Whether
married or single, working or on welfare, a victim of violence or enjoying more
privilege, Mother’s Day is “women’s day” - a time to consider ways to right
wrongs.
The writer,
who lives in